How To Date A Partner From A Different Culture
Mon, Nov 2, 2009
One of the reasons dating is often difficult, is that by dating, you are inviting a person into your life with the intent of developing a relationship where this person will influence you and the choices in life you make. This can be a good thing, it can also be a bad thing.
This can be a great thing if you are in a good relationship. In this situation your partner will use their influence to help you be the best person you can. It can be a bad situation though in a toxic relationship. In these situations, your partner can use their influence to manipulate you into behaviours that satisfy their insecurities, guilt or own ambitions.
Culture and religion can be very influential here. Both culture and religion are a framework, or a set of rules, within which its members live their lives. There is often very little room for compromise with these rules. If you do not abide by them, you are not a practising member of that faith/culture. So if you date someone who lives within these structures, the influence and opinion they bring to your life will invariably be tempered by the rules of their faith.
Two of the pillars of a successful relationship are compromise and understanding. As such, cross religion or cross cultural relationships are sometimes difficult. This is because, due to “devotion to the cause”, the religious person’s views and attitudes can sometimes be rigid, breaking down the precepts of compromise and understanding.
When I point this out, don’t take it the wrong way. I’m not saying religion and culture are good or bad. I’m not saying religious or cultural people are right or wrong for you. All I am saying is that rigid beliefs and ideals can impact the development of a relationship and you should be aware of it.
For example, if you are Asian, and/or deeply committed to developing as a person with the ideals of Asian culture, it is probably a very good idea to develop a relationship with a like minded person. Having similar backgrounds in this manner will promote understanding between the two of you and help you develop as a person.
If on the other hand your are dating someone who is steeped in Asian traditions, yet you are a westerner and do not understand eastern culture, you may find it difficult to understand the opinions and viewpoints of your partner. This can cause conflict and misunderstanding in a fledgling relationship. It will certainly require greater compromise and understanding between the two of you.
Similarly with religion, a devout person of Christian or Jewish faith could be a much better person having a partner of similar faith, helping and supporting them through the matters of conscience particular to those religions. Similar beliefs in matters of sexuality also help in setting boundaries in the early stages of relationships in these cases. This is why religious dating sites also exist.
Matters of the heart rarely work out exactly as we expect though, so often inter-religion relationships occur. To be successful, tremendous understanding is required from both parties in the relationship. Discord often arises when the non-religious partner acts in a manner that, while socially acceptable, may not be within the strictures of the religious partner’s religion. When this happens, for the relationship to be successful, compromise is required from both sides.
It is important to understand that what we have said in this article is not a set of rules, rather some food for thought. Many inter-religion and inter-cultural relationships exist and form every single day and are completely successful. These relationships are successful due to understanding and compromise the partners have of and with each other, just like any other relationship.
Jayde Johanssen understands that jewish dating sites serve an important role in bringing jewish singles together in faith and love Don’t reprint this exact article. Instead, reprint a free unique content version of this same article.
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December 3rd, 2009 at 7:50 am
Great read, Ill come back